never take friendship personal.

i keep typing things and deleting them, nothing looks right after the first couple lines of nothing. i cant stay awake but i cant go to sleep, i need something, im sick of this. i hate you, you lied to me every time you looked me in the eyes. i thought we were better than this, more than the drama that happens outside of our lives, we wernt. so much for being the fucking amazing guy with the hello kitty backpack. you had to become something else without letting me say goodbye to who you were. i broke down everything for you just so you could understand, i told you everything, you know everything about me. its all just gone now though isnt it, build me up to break me down right? you cant do this to me, its not like it was before, its something different now. you cant tell me you love me than never talk to me again. you arent in high school anymore, you need to grow up. the Marines dont want a pussy who walks away from everything as soon as things change a bit, youre enlisted you get to go, you get to have fun being shot at. youre not going to press pause while youre gone then press play when you get home, if you get home. so many plans broken because of you, homecoming, formal, the axe murder house, hanging out all the time, the concerts, the drugs, everything ruined. youre just lucky i have more than you to depend on, because if id only ever had you id be even more alone than i feel. i guess you can never take friendship personal. im done.

on that note, ive decided not to date for a while. partially because nobody likes me, partially because i dont need the drama, mainly because i cant take being left for dead again.