so i woke up a bunch of times today, but kept forcing myself to go back to sleep, i wanted to stay asleep until noon but my body decided 10a.m. was better. i texted jake jake and told him to come over around 1, then watched some tv and around 12 i called taylor to tell her me and jake jake would be over in about an hour to get her. when it got to 1:20 and jake jake wasnt there i called him, he said he had to do chores. so then i wrote a bubble about my failing friendships, taylor called and i told her what he said, she said he needed to hurry up and i agreed. so then i call jake jake again to see what the fuck was going on, he said he was getting new carpet in his room and had no idea, and that he couldnt get a ride over here. i was pissed but he told me how sorry he was and i got over it. so me and him kept talking on the phone and watching dumb movies until we got off the phone. we texted and i told taylor he wasnt coming over.
i watched tv and went to go eat food. me and jake jake decided he'd come home with me after school, for some reason i feel like its not going to happen. then i went upstairs, watched more tv and sat around texting.
my grandma came upstairs asking if i wanted to go see a movie but we decided to go rent some instead. we left and i made a comment on how i havent been very hungry since ive had the flu, she decided i was talking about my weight. this is the conversation she decided to tell me my family had about me saturday...
my aunt: wow ash is getting big.
my grandma: yeah i know she's getting really tall.
my aunt: no not tall, wide.
my grandma: well she's growing, her metabolism is slowing down, she's at the awkward stage.
...if you know me at all you know how pissed i am at this point, mainly at my grandma for bring up this conversation i had no clue about. i told her to stop fucking thinking that i want to lose weight because i dont, i like food and im happy with my weight and if she doesnt stop telling me shit i didnt want to know she could go fuck herself. she said okay. soon after that i started to cry (it was that silent try to hide it kind of cry) she didnt notice until we were about to get out of the car. she asked me what was wrong and i gave her the look that says, "honestly? fuck you!" and she knew. i started to cry harder and she told me i was just fine the way i am and that im not fat. i kept asking why my aunt wanted to call me fat because i hand t ever done anything to her. the conversation from then went like this...
me: what a fucking dumb bitch, i didnt do shit to her and she decides im fucking fat behind my back? sorry im not a fucking drunk who works two shitty jobs with little pay while raising a teenaged boy! she can kiss my "fat" fucking ass for all i fucking care! fuck her!
my grandma: youre fine the way you are, shelly is just skinny, just wait until she loses weight.
me: no that shits fucked up, my fucking mother likes to call me fat too, better yet that bitch would call me fat then buy me doughnuts! i fucking hate this fucking family they're all a bunch of cunt sucking losers!
my grandma: i know she would do that, but you never ate the food she gave you.
me: yeah i know, i never eat anything after i get called fat, that dumb bitch has no room to talk! neither of them do, i hope shelly gets fucking breast cancer again and fucking dies, that dumb fucking bitch is nothing!
my grandma: you think they dont say stuff about me? they all hate me but i wouldnt have had them come over if it actually bugged me. i just rise above it.
me: well it bugs me!
my grandma: i know it bugged me at that age too.
me: seriously what the fuck did i do to that bitch?!
my grandma: nothing.
me: exactly.
so then we went inside and rented movies, she got the last house on the left and i got S.Darko. it was pretty good but not as good as the first movie. after i watched it i was even more depressed. i cried a lot more and typed that other bubble about my feelings. i closed my laptop, rolled into a ball and cried some more. then i went downstairs to get food because my aunt shelly is a dumb cunt and i like food. This whole time i was texting jake jake, he made me promise i would stop crying and i did.
after that i watched secret life of the american teen and i cried a little but when the whore was talking about her first time... then i realized i wasnt supposed to cry so i stopped. then i watched greek while texting and talking on first class. after greek was over i got bored and here i am an hour later.
in other fun news i told that guy i think i like that i think i like him while playing the question game, he said it was possible that he liked me back. it was one of those haha sure thanks for being nice moments. then later he said something that was really sweet so i told him then that i was sure i liked him and i was sure he didnt like me back... he said that 89 percent of him does like me for sure... i dont know what to think but we'll see how it turns out. you still dont get to know who he is ha ha.
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