14th mod i went to the cafeteria with people and hung out, then i went outside once school got out, i was picked up like right away and my grandpa was suprised jake wasnt there. i was like whatever and when i got home i went straight to bed. I woke up around 7 and texted people. i got into another fight with jake, found out he had a girlfriend, and now apparently we cant be friends again. I freaked out a little, well a lot, i freaked so much i emailed ben and told him to talk to me. We're talking again and i dunno if thats good, he said he'd go to homecoming with me but then i imagined how insanely awkward that would be and told him that it wasnt a good idea, he agreed after he thought of it. I was still sad about jake and i talked to a bunch of people until i was just like fuck this, and logged off.
~i cried a lot and talked to ben on the phone. i had nothing better to do.~
I got back on firstclass and talked again then i walked downstairs and ate food, then i called josh. he said hed call me back but he never remembers which is why i stopped talking to him to begin with. I honestly miss him a lot but he never had time for me. since then ive done pretty much nothing. Im still like super bummed about everything and i know tomorrow is going to be a "whatever i feel like shit and look like shit i dont care" day. I think im done crying, but tomorrow is going to suck ass though. South Park is on and i just talked to jacob a little but... hes so ghetto hahaha. i dont expect anything to happen until tomorrow, but if it does i'll post a bubble about it... you know me.
by the way, that guy i liked was jake. see how well shit like that works out for me... oh yeah it doesnt work out for me. that was some bullshit, i figure if i give up trying i cant lose... i want to give up finding someone but i know i wont. knowing me im still going to try to be friends with jake... ill just get hurt more but its not like i actually care anymore. life sucks most of the time.
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