so ive been thinking a lot in the past couple hours, actually about the random things that i havent given much thought to, even thought i meant to. every answer sounds better with a bit of thought and if you get a right away answer, or a on the spot response it wont be good. so this bubble is going to jump around a lot most likely, but it was never meant to fit perfectly.
luc, at the before the previews came on you asked me why you wernt one of "my boys," i told you it was because you and i dont talk about feelings. its not just that, its everything, i go to them when im crying and i cant stop. they know just how crazy i am, the way i sound when im angry, jealous, happy, high, drunk, and completely broken down. i can call them all hours of the day and night and theyre always there no matter how late it is and no matter how much trouble they'll get into. its not just them knowing me, its me knowing them and how theyre feeling. its me always trying to be there for them the same way theyre there for me, its having a tough guy without feelings, break down and tell you everything because they can trust you. its hard to explain i guess, its the bonding really.
time to stick up for my boys, you said talking about feelings is for pussies. *cough cough* no, listen here hun, two of my boys are in the marines and are willing to die at any second for what they believe in. my boys arent scared to show the world what theyre made of, my boys have been through more in one day than youve been through youre whole life. my boys have been hurt, beaten, and broken down but still wear smiling fucking faces. my boys have strength and it may not show on the outside, but its there.
want to be one of my boys, then fallow the first paragraph and dont pretend my boys are less then the amazing fucking fighters they are. oh and if i made you feel like i was just coming down on you im sorry, i get touchy when it comes to them. i dont know if youve caught on to this yet but i suck at dating, im too everything. im too clingy, im too depressed, im too bitchy, im too embarrassing, im too annoying, im too dumb, im too ugly, im too whorish. im all for pda, im all for cuddling, and im all for just hanging out. hopefully im not too hard for you to handle, im up for it if you are.
weston, i know im not the single friend that's easy to talk to when youre having alone issues anymore, but its not like i dont understand what youre going through. everything youre going through now, ive been through twice. i usually suck at dating because i get too attached, and honestly i almost never get past the "i like you, do you like me?" part of most relationships. people just dont like me, and if they do theyre gross and shit out of luck. you being mister picky pants doesnt help your situation much, but its not a bad thing that you know what you want. blargh, im not getting into this now. the point is, youre my friend, im here for you 100% and i dont plan on fucking that up anytime soon.
christie, im not mad at you, i dont hate you, i just hate the situation with you and alex. hes a sensitive kid you know, i spent hours on the phone with him trying to make him feel better after you broke his heart. you coming back and giving him hope that may be false is just like reading the future. i dont want to have to make him feel better, i want him to be happy already. i know you understand where im coming from because youd feel the same way if it were turned around. i know its not youre fault, i just hate the people my friends get hurt by for a while. im not saying im sorry, because im not, but i am saying that the one way war is over if you want it to be.
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