fucking pay attention.

every paragraph has a different guy. im not saying guess them, im just saying what i want to say to them right now. some of it is a bunch of shit that makes no sense to anyone but the guy. to the guys reading this, youll know who you are i can grantee it.

im not sorry for having a life and im not sorry for moving on. youve done it just the same, i cant help that you came back at the wrong time. you know that you probably mean more to me than any other guy in the world, you know that there is no possible way for me to forget you, so then why throw these fits? sure youre jealous, ive been jealous too, but the only thing youre getting out of this is a punch to the nuts. not talking, is not the way to go. you dont think youll come back if you stop, but you will just like you always have. youre not getting off my mailing list, i dont care if it makes you want to talk to me again, i dont want you to leave me to begin with. i am sorry for everything thats happened recently, but i wouldnt take it back even if i could. i cant let myself like you, you shouldnt let yourself like me, theres always just something wrong with us in a relationship or anything close. i am not a fuck buddy but i will be your friend, even if you dont think youre ready for that yet.

i didnt believe you when you told me you liked me, i still dont. that list is four people too long, i wish i hadnt known the other people on it, i cant talk to you around them and it makes me want to puke when i try. i figure if im not at the top, then i may as well give up, so heres me giving up. i know we'll just stay the same, the only difference is that we wont talk about us maybe liking each other. you wont have a problem with this and i know it, therefore im not sorry.

you know exactly how i feel, you know that that wont just change. i talk to you every chance i get and youre often the one i fall asleep on the phone with. youre the only person ive stayed up with even while i was brushing my teeth for school, im the only person you talk to for long periods of time. i dont see how this is going to work, you leaving for a few months, then a few years. i know its what you want to do with your life, but i cried hard when cody left fuck im still crying, imagine what itll be like with you. i dont think you understand how attached to you i am, when we dont talk for months i have crazy bitch freak out posts that i title with song lyrics and crying people. you know who you are and you know i love you to fucking death, i know youll read this if i bring it up in a conversation, but its nothing i didnt say two nights ago.

youre a fucking whore and we both know this. i dont trust you, but im starting to. i swear if you fuck me over ill kill you. last night you were in my dream, it was weird, it was just like every conversation ive ever had with a guy i like. just you telling me about how youre in love with this girl and dont know what to do about it anymore. i honestly didnt realize it was a dream until about ten minuets ago. i dont think you like me and im pretty sure you know you dont otherwise my might not have taken that damn mop to my face. somehow you remind me of lochlan, but youre a bit more douche-ie than he was, youre a bigger whore too. i guess we'll see what happens, if anything happens.