i was wrong about some of the things ive said, we've all talked since yesterday morning and though its barely been 24 hours i have different perceptions of each of you. everyone probably knows who the guys are, so im done keeping it a secret. my additions to my old post will be in blue.
im not sorry for having a life and im not sorry for moving on. youve done it just the same, i cant help that you came back at the wrong time. you know that you probably mean more to me than any other guy in the world, you know that there is no possible way for me to forget you, so then why throw these fits? sure youre jealous, ive been jealous too, but the only thing youre getting out of this is a punch to the nuts. i was being incredibly harsh, i just dont want you to whine about me actually having a life without you. youre just doing the same hing i always do. not talking, is not the way to go. you dont think youll come back if you stop, but you will just like you always have. youre not getting off my mailing list, i dont care if it makes you want to talk to me again, i dont want you to leave me to begin with. you know i care about you, it might not be the way it used to be but its still there. i am sorry for everything thats happened recently, but i wouldnt take it back even if i could. i cant let myself like you, you shouldnt let yourself like me, theres always just something wrong with us in a relationship or anything close. i am not a fuck buddy but i will be your friend, even if you dont think youre ready for that yet. i know im a bitch most of the time, and youre a dick most of the time, we never get along, but youre still my friend...
i didnt believe you when you told me you liked me, i still dont. i believe you at first, but i knew it wasnt very much and that i wasnt lucky enough for it to happen. that list is four people too long, i wish i hadnt known the other people on it, i cant talk to you around them and it makes me want to puke when i try. now its honestly hard to talk to you period, our conversations are lacking spunk and words. i figure if im not at the top, then i may as well give up, so heres me giving up. i know we'll just stay the same, the only difference is that we wont talk about us maybe liking each other. i was wrong, we're nothing like we were anymore. i hate this theres nothing interesting to talk about and you ont even tell me why youre sad. you wont have a problem with this and i know it, therefore im not sorry. im completely sorry, by giving up i may have ruined everything, im a huge fuck up.
youre a fucking whore and we both know this. i dont trust you, but im starting to. i trust you. i swear if you fuck me over ill kill you. please dont fuck me over. last night you were in my dream, it was weird, it was just like every conversation ive ever had with a guy i like. just you telling me about how youre in love with this girl and dont know what to do about it anymore. i honestly didnt realize it was a dream until about ten minuets ago. i hope you never get super pissed like you got pissed at the chick you took to the dance, i know i fuck up a lot of things. i dont think you like me and im pretty sure you know you dont otherwise my might not have taken that damn mop to my face. honestly even though we've kissed before im still not convinced you do like me, i just see myself as another girl youve kissed. somehow you remind me of lochlan, but youre a bit more douche-ie than he was, youre a bigger whore too, but youre a huge fucking nerd secretly it makes me feel less awkward around you, the dragons were a nice touch. i kind of admire that. i guess we'll see what happens, if anything happens. i want something to happen, i wonder if you do...
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